Beyond the Fringe - Civil Defence.

When, how and why it all went wrong. The 1960s.............

I was a war baby and so my early childhood unfolded during the recovery period after that conflict. I remember food rationing, going with my mother to the 'Food Office' in town and not understanding why there was no food on the shelves. Only years later I realised that the place had dispensed the essential rationing coupons. On a day in 1946 I remember my father finally coming home from the war. It was the first memory I have of him. He climbed the steep Sheffield street, at first a black speck in the distance and eventually  becoming a man in a special uniform,although I did not at that stage know that if was the uniform of  an RNVR Lt Commander. Nor did I know what he had been through, until many years later. He was never captured, imprisoned or tortured. He was one of many who fought that war. He never forgot how lucky he was to come back alive. And nor did I. Yet he never ' kept on' about it. Occasionally he would lift the veil. Not until I  was adult did he tell me that his ship 'H..M.S. Whippingham', (I think that's the right spelling.) in fact a converted Isle of Wight  ferry, had been part of the naval force that had 'swept' the Channel just before D Day. Afterwards they did not receive Admiralty orders to return to the relative safety of Portsmouth but were instructed to tie up with another sweeper off the coast of France, until they received orders to sail home.. They were sitting ducks for an enemy gun emplacement on the mainland cliffs. The captain had a nervous breakdown under the strain of this arrangement; eventually my father who was chief navigation officer, was given command and brought the ship and all hands safely back to the Solent. Not until my thirties did he share with me the earlier time that he had stood on the bridge at night, afloat on the freezing waters of Scapa Flow and looking out over those dismal waters had asked himself and maybe God, whether he would ever see his wife again and whether he would ever see me, his only child at all.

I had a secure and happy childhood. I learned obedience, the value of discipline and respect for authority. Of course I fought all of them at times but the boundaries they supplied were rock solid. Then at the approach of adolescence.my generation  came to understand the seriousness of the threat of nuclear war. But although it haunted us we learned to live with it. British satire was very healthy at the time and we were able to laugh at sketches from 'Beyond the Fringe' about Civil Defence and running along to the local leader in th event of the dreaded 'four ninute warning'  and 'he'll tell you exactly were you can go'. Ergo, apart from jumping into a brown paper bag, absolutely nowhere..

As has since transpired, the 1940s and 50s turned out to be the only years of moral societal national stability in my life. Since 1961 when I began my teacher training , everything that I was educated to value and respect has been gradually  destroyed. It is a very hard fact.

to be continued

Catholic Hymnal: O Purest of Creatures! sweet mother, sweet maid

Spiritual Mothers CR News 15

Only a proper understanding of the priesthood will renew the Irish Church | CatholicHerald.co.uk

Catholic Hymnal: To Jesus' Heart, all burning

Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus

To all my friends, followers and readers, a happy and holy Feast day.

Swiss Guard's faith deepened as he served :: Catholic News Agency (CNA)

Swiss Guard's faith deepened as he served :: Catholic News Agency (CNA)

 And all because of his private experience of Bl. John Paul II.

'Glory of the Olive' 2: Sunday 24 April 2005

I don't know how I found the radio station, its name or its provenance, but as I searched the air waves suddenly it was there, broadcasting from St Peter's Square direct into my little Pimlico living room. It was a bright and beautiful spring day. The new Pope was about to begin his homily. I turned up the sound and opened the window. Outside was Sunday quiet, as if the whole of central London was preparing to listen to him. I could not believe my good fortune.  It may have been Vatican Radio English Service because there was a simultaneous English translation.. I was riveted and stood in the middle of the empty room throughout. (Colin was in France.)

The homily certainly answered my question about what kind of Pope we now had. As you remember he said that he was not going to present a programme of governance and preferred to meditate at this point on the significance of two of the symbols with which he would shortly be invested: the pallium and the fisherman's ring. How effective this was. As he spoke the sensation grew and grew that here was a Pope who was full of the gifts and the fruits of the Holy Spirit. They were all there in his actual words and in his mien, and they have been proved to be present in him during all the seven years since then. Particularly in the way he has reacted in moments of difficulty, the present one being the latest case in point.. But on that April morning  I knew with no shadow of doubt that this was exactly how it would be. Here was my shepherd. My trust in him was forged that day and will not be broken.

That God had sent us such a man as Pope to succeed John Paul II was incredible,.given our manifest lack of merit,.validated and strengthened my faith. I rejoiced in thanksgiving. There was nothing I could do about the tears of profound relief that welled up from the depths of my half century's experience as a catholic Christian. Ever since that day I have always matched what he has done and said against those lists of Gifts and Fruits.. Everytime,  the essence of Pope Benedict defeats the arrogant individualism of the dissenters.

I invite you to check the lists and see for yourself, if indeed you are not already convinced.

May the Lord have mercy on us and not take Pope Benedict from us just yet.And may He bless His holy  servant with a quiet, restorative night.





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'Glory of the Olive' I (A Life under six Popes)

Like many I couldn't quite believe it when Joseph Ratzinger was elected Pope. At the time I didn't have access to all the news sites that are now my daily bread and butter. As I've already said, in the years when I was writing my books  I only used the computer in connection with that work. As it is, I still don't know how I wrote them and functioned effectively as a full time teacher. When John Paul II died my third one had just been published. I knew his successor as a shadowy figure who was acknowledged as a consummate theologian and who had a penchant for traditional liturgy. And that the mainstream media, with the help, I'm sure, of many inside the Roman 'corridors of power', were determined to characterise him as totally impossible to elect as successor to John Paul II.. He is still suffering from the effect of their longstanding hatchet job..Indeed, this false representation of him is even now only just below the surface.

In the early 1990s I had a young friend who was a seminarian at Wigratzbad. He wrote to me in great excitement to tell me that Cardinal Ratzinger had visited the seminary and celebrated the Tridentine Mass. He enclosed a photograph of the event and it's still upstairs somewhere.  In the same letter my friend begged me to take no notice of what the media said about the Cardinal.. I never had done, I didn't then and I don't now.. I suppose that knowing I had worked for the Tablet, my friend thought I may have been tainted. If so, he need not have worried.

On the second day of the conclave I was at work and had to wait until I got home to find out what had happened..It was all over and 'habemus papam' had been declaimed across the Square to an apparently jubilant crowd..  I think it must have been a google alert report since that is the only thing I had fixed at the time. And I saw Benedict XVI on the central loggia of St Peter's for the first time.. It seemed like a dream come true. But what would he be like as Pope? I would have to wait until his homily at the inaugural Mass for an inkling as to the answer to my question.

To be continued

Corpus Christi 2012: A stunning little providence at the Oasis

I don't mind admitting that personally  the last several weeks have been a nightmare culminating with Colin's collapse. Thanks be to God he is now recovering well and the nurse came to take the blood test this morning..

Yesterday being Corpus Christi was special anyway, ending for me, with the televised Mass and Procession from Rome. But before that in the late afternoon something very special had happened in this house..

Just before Easter, I 'lost' my precious Rosary from Knock. I have put the word lost in inverted commas because I knew it couldn't really be lost. It was just hidden from me. Since it was given me by a most dear and holy friend, I had used it every day to pray the Rosary in church. On the day of its disappearance I brought it home in my pocket and put it on my desk. The next day, I could not find it. Every day since then I have fretted about it and searched for it in every possible place. The weeks and days went by. And I used my other Rosary, bought at St Emilion in 2008, but it wasn't the same somehow, being a simple wooden affair with the decades not clearly separated to the 'feel''..

Then in the late afternoon of Corpus Christi I decided it was time to clean my bedroom upstairs. During the course of that exercise I had to move the bed to sweep underneath it, and as I did so I heard the sound of beads and metal. There it was. My beloved Rosary in amongst the dust.! I don't know exactly how it got there but I guess I must have taken it to bed with me on the night of its disappearance and it  must have slipped out of my hand during the night. It went to church with me this afternoon and is now in my pocket. I am determined never to lose sight of it again.

Deo gratias

All along, the parable of the Lost Coin had been at the back of my mind and I have just reread it..

"Or what woman having ten silver coins, if she loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbours, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.' Just so, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." (Luke 15 8-10)

Even in the ordinary domestic round there are so many lessons to learn............

Tomorrow DV: The sixth Pope: 'The glory of the Olive'.

Good news. No hospital!

The doctor has ordered a blood test and prescribed various medicaments including calcium  and vitamin D. The blood test will be done at home by the district nurse as is the custom here. If it shows nothing worrying, and if after a month's course of prescribed medicine, his general constitution shows a marked improvement, he will NOT have to go into hospital. She was very thorough in the examination of the shoulder and I am finally satisfied that there is nothing broken.

During the course of the consultation, it became apparent from Colin's answers to her questions that he has absolutely no memory of what caused the incident, or of the incident itself. .

Afterwards I went into the Aubeterre pharmacy with my French friend and from there to do essential shopping in Chalais. It was approaching 1.30pm when I got back. I am afraid that after lunch I gave in to fatigue and had a siesta and feel much better now. Colin himself is much better and over the past week has gradually returned to his normal self.

I cannot thank you enough for the support of your prayers which, at the very least, I'm sure made all the difference to my ability to keep going. The Oasis is a little blog but it constitutes a powerful family. .

And tomorrow is Corpus Christi. I wish you all a holy and happy Feast day and hope to return to posting on Friday.

In Christo pro Papa ,

J

The Doctor is coming tomorrow morning

I'm terribly afraid she'll send him to hospital in Angouleme. Please pray that it won't be necessary.

No news until tomorrow

An extremely frustrating day. Colin continues to improve but I know he needs medical care. Everything went wrong today. Nobody could come, and as is the way with these things, through no deliberate fault of theirs.. Please continue your prayers. Tomorrow I hope to have definite news, and possibly to get back to  my posting plans. Above all I know that Our Lady answered my prayer on Tuesday night and is looking after him..

Oasis medical update

I should imagine that the non-appearance of the doctor was caused by a particularly heavy surgery and there was not time in the day to make any house visits. I am having to wait until Monday morning when I will ring to make another booking. In the meantime it seems apparent that in spite of most appalling bruies to Colin's shoulder he has not if fact broken it. I do not know exactly what happened because I was in another room at the time.  We agree though that he must have fainted.

Our heartfelt thanks for all your prayers.

Sorry for silence. Collapse of husband on Tuesday evening..

The doctor was booked to make a house visit today, but did not turn up. I'd be most grateful for your prayers.
Will post again as soon as possible,. and hope to complete the 6 Popes series

Tito's been sick...

How we have come to rely on the Pultp.it. So glad you're on the mend Tito. God bless you, and your work

Passport (back) to Pimlico. A place to hide: 1998-2005. (A life under 6 Popes continued)

After 18 months in Camberley I managed to return to the London flat just behind Sloane Square. Then came some fairly hair raising spells of supply teaching. The last of these was in a sort of day remand centre for under-age boys who has already been in trouble with the law -petty crime mostly but there were some individuals there who had violence with knives or even fire-arms, on their records. One had to teach them in locked classrooms, nornally in a team of two, but occasionally one was alone. At the end of my fortnight's stint, the deputy head, a former policeman, who really ran the place, asked me to consider staying permanently. He explained that he had been particularly impressed by my calm temperament. Besides I was the first supply teacher they ever had, during whose tenure  there had not been a violent classroom incident. Fortunately for me I had an interview the next day......The result was that I was apponted Head of English and Drama in a small private stage school in East Acton. The proprietor was a non-academic business woman but respecting what she read in my CV allowed me  to carve the English curriculum for the entire school (5-15 yrs), whilst always following the demands of the National Curriculum. As near perfection as any teacher could want. I would stay there for 7 years until I finally retired at the age of 63.I don't think the Deputy Head at the remand centre had the slightest idea of the sheer determination it had taken me to turn up at the place each day. I am glad however that I saw 'how the other half live.' Never again would I complain about any 'normal' teaching work I was asked to do

But what about Church. Here a strange thing happened. At the time I didn't realise how much in need I was of spiritual care. I did not return to my former parish on the other side of Sloane Square, but was taken under the wing of the priests and verger (a long-time friend) of the local Anglo Catholic church.. There the form of worship was much more in keeping with what I had been used to before the Council. Any stranger wandering in could have been forgiven for thinking it was an 'unreformed' Roman church. There were two strands to its public worship. The first which attracted most of its large Sunday congregation from across London and even further afield, involved the Sunday morning 'High Mass' which was always accompanied by its superb (paid) choir. Much of the polyphonic repertoire was familiar to me. Their men sang the Propers in English to Gregorian chant. In the evening there was sung Evensong and Solemn Benediction. It was the other side of it that I found so nourishing. Every morning, except Wednesday, the early morning Mass would be preceded by Matins and Lauds according to the Roman Breviary. Aside from the two priests, there were never more than three of us in the chapel of the Seven Sorrows where the Office was recited. I benefited from this hidden spirituality, this very private devotion. But all the time, I knew in my heart and soul that it could not go on. It sustained me during the period when I was recovering from my mother's death and while I was reestablishing my professional life, until you might say, I became strong enough to wake up and realise that I had to find my way back to Rome. The Church had torn herself apart during and after the Council but that did not make any difference to the fact of her valid Sacraments, which the Anglo-Catholics did not have, or to the authority she vested in the Petrine office, tracing it as having been founded by the Lord Himself. (As has been seen, it continues to fragment because it simply does not have that authority. The Anglo-Catholic wing of the Church of England could make itself as comfortable as it liked, but in the long run, it could only be a shortlived comfort, a staging post.. I had recovered during  a time of therapeutic 'sleep' And now it was time to wake up.

 One of the priests mentioned above had become my spiritual director. He was well aware of the moment when I came round from my torpor. He used to go on retreats run by Opus Dei and arranged for me to see one of their priests. Through my conversations and eventual confession to this Father, I was able to wade into the open sea, find the Barque of Peter and sail alongside her again. 'Opus  Dei' made no attempt to recruit me. (I had been afraid that they may try.) I gave their priest copies of my books and the last time I saw him, I asked whether it was permissible to keep the Anglo-Catholic priest as spiritual director. He said that it was OK for the time being.  A bit later on my director told me that 'Opus Dei' saw no point in recruiting me because as their priest put it, after interviewing me, hearing my Confession, and reading my books, 'A strong Benedictine spirituality is already in place within her.'   I suspected at the time that the Opus Dei' priest was directing my director and know from subsequent conversations that he was hoping that the latter would convert to Rome.
I had some inkling of how difficult this might prove because I knew his history, which involved a spell at the English College in Rome in the 1970s when Seminarians there were forbidden to wear clerical dress. He was thought to be 'too Catholic'  and left because the Ven.. College was not Catholic enough. He saw at first hand some of the effects of modernist interpretation of the Council. He returned to ministry in the Anglo-Catholic movement. And there he remains. Every so often he suffers from what he calls 'Roman' fever. He has not yet joined the Ordinariate. I must have another 'go' at him soon. I owe it to him after all. There is a lot more I could say on this matter, but it is really another story.
 .
The Publishing years:
I found my publisher via Paul Burns (of Burnes and Oates) in 1998. It took some time to get the contract sorted out because Continuum was undergoing considerable developments at the time.  But in the end I wrote three books for them - strictly according to the Faith that I had been taught fifty years earlier. Indeed they turned out to be too traditional for their market. Maybe it would be different now, that is if their editors have kept up with the change in trend since 'Summorum Pontificum'..
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By 2002 we began to come to France again for holidays.
My Catholic life was centred aroud the Cathedral and more particularly the Brompton Oratory.but I was not known to anyone in either place. That suited me.

Increasingly we would spend our holiday evenings discussing the Pope and his declining health. I was here when he finally gave up the struggle. In the absence of TV and computer we heard the news on French radio In the gathering twilight I went upstairs to our little chapel, took his picture from the wall,  propped it up in front of the altar and knelt to pray for the Church. I felt that his terrible suffering had been for a reason. At the end of his life I think he showed us more of what Faith was all about than had any of the many travels and kissing of tarmacs he had done in earlier years. God saved that meaning until the end. The photo remained in front of the altar until I came back in May.

On the day of the funeral, I flew back from Bordeaux.

None of my previous experience could have prepared me in any way for what would happen now.

Dear Holy Father, we know your plate is full and send our love and prayers

But please do you have a spare 'Cardinal Dolan' up your sleeve whom you could put in place here. .

The General Medical Council of Great Britain is exceeding its moral brief (h/t 'Protect the Pope'. In sidebar here)

We have no effective leadership of the Church here. Having briefly reawakened during and after you visit our bishops seem to be fast asleep again. Please help us.

The Pope's butler did it?

Yes, sure he did. As it turns out. But I'd say the odds are that it's a great deal more complicated than that. .....Already there are suspicions that powerful prelates are involved.. Apparently the Pope himself thinks this may be the case, After all why is a  forty year old man going to sign away his security and respectability, unless he had been promised recompense later on. It just isn't explicable otherwise.There is absolutely no reason why he should do it. Unless he hates Benedict and has kept it secret all these years, or has become possessed. That last is always a possibility of course. In the meantime our dear Pope must feel almost completely unprotected. But then he probably knows the truth of that, better than we will ever do. May I ask you what you felt when he gave that lunch to the cardinals he said he regards as his friends. I remember thinking, is he a complete innocent ,or is he trying to shame them?. Judging from the looks on some of the faces I think it might have been the latter. Or was it that he was utterly genuine and they actually felt guilty for a moment.

I don't know. It's worse than 'The Mystery of Edwin Drood'.

God help our Pope.

Lost in France I: 1990-97 (A Life under 6 Popes continued)

We bought this house in 1989 and for three years my mother lived permanently in it, whilst I continued to teach in London, but spent all my school holidays here, Colin joining us when his work allowed. Then one Saturday morning in 1992 I was roused from my lie-in by what turned out to be an urgent phone call from our French next-door neighbour's daughter in Paris. She was ringing to let me know that during the previous week her mother had died suddenly from a heart attack. That was shock enough but as she spoke I realised that I had only spoken to my own mother a couple of days previously and she hadn't mentioned a thing. And now here was Yvette telling me that nobody had seen my mother since before the death. The house shutters remained closed and she was not answering the door. The local grocer had been leaving bread and milk on the front doorstep and she had taken that in, although nobody had seen her do that. Yvette as very kindly ringing to alert me to the fact that something was very wrong.

Fortunately Brent gave me compassionate leave and I was able to get down here by the following Tuesday.

My mother had no history if illness, physical nor mental. Up until the death of Madme Martin she had been mentally and physically active. She was very fond of her French neighbour. The death changed her for ever. I will not go into details but it became plain that she could no longer live alone and so I brought her back to England with me. She became very dependent on me and did not like my going out to choir practice and Sunday Mass. She would plead with me not to go. Then if I insisted she would cry. Within the space of one year she began to ring me at school with all sorts of stories why I must come home immediately., the final one being that the flat was on fire. I raced home from Willesden to find that it was all an invention. Clearly the situation could not continue. In summer 1993 I took early retirement and we moved permanently to France where we could look after her. We never really got to the bottom of what was the matter with her and it was not for the want of trying I can assure you. Every kind of physical test was done. Nothing showed up as wrong. Psychiatric tests proved equally inconclusive.  Her whole personality seemed to have changed.

I had for some years been developing a spirituality of gardening and in the relative peace and quiet of my new French life continued it and finally began to write about it. In 1994 my mother had a stroke which hospitalised her for 3 months.  She came home on the day we began our first Shakespeare Festival. We were told at the hospital that they could do no more for her. She seemed determined not to get fully better. In other words she had lost the will to live. Her decline took a further three years and finally  in May 1997 she had to go into the local cottage hospital. She could not swallow; I could not feed her at home. Two weeks before the end, she sank into a semi-coma, At the time we had some Irish Catholic friends living nearby. They knew a Polish priest who would come and at least bless her. (My mother was not a Catholic but in her final year had expressed an interest in being received. My former Parish priest in London had given me permission to provide the instruction in extremis. I had begun this but as the final months approached I had to accept that she was not capable of understanding.or of communicating on the kind of level involved.) I explained all this to the Polish priest. He asked us if there were any prayers we would like to say in English, reminding us that hearing is often the last faculty to shut down. And so we said the Our Father and the Hail Mary.  I am convinced she heard them..

I cannot write more about this period. The memories are still too raw.

A fortnight after the funeral I was back in London, searching for work and looking for a publisher for first of my gardening books  The French dream had turned out to be a bit of a nightmare but it had been the context in which the idea for a whole series was born.

Shortly afterwards it became apparent that the health of the Pope had begun its long decline

To be continued

When I began this current 'Six Popes' series.....

...I had no idea that it would reach the present stage during perhaps the most difficult week I can remember, certainly in this Pontificate.. On the one hand I am glad to be doing it. On the other hand it is very difficult to concentrate. But discipline is a marvellous thing in so many ways.
I hope to publish the next instalment tomorrow evening and that it may help to keep us occupied as the waiting approaches its end.. It's not much but it's all i can do.

God bless and guiide our Holy Father Benedict XVI.

The learning curve of the 1980s (A life under 6 Popes continued)

The Tablet years:
I worked full time for the paper from 1983-85. By then Tom Burns had retired and John Wilkins had taken over as Editor and I fairly soon became aware that he was somewhat sympathetic towards the notion of  'loyal dissent'. To me, the term, which I first met in one of his editorials, has always seemed an indefensible oxymoron. (It still does.) He was incredibly hardworking and well-informed, and on a personal level I had great respect, even affection for him. However my job was not to comment upon editorial policy. At The Tablet I learned a great deal about the direction in which the Church seemed to be going, about the stance of many of the regular writers, and from the Archive, about recent Church History. This was helped by the fact that I indexed both The Tablet and its sister journal 'The Clergy Review , later renamed 'Priests and People', according to the spirit of the period..  In fact I continued to index P & P until 1993. This enabled me to keep in touch with 'the lie of the land.. As I recall, this latter monthly journal carried a markedly wide range of articles. By 93, there seemed to be more of a progressive bent, on every subject from liturgy and architecture, to liberation theology and the social teaching of the Church. One incident exemplifies this. I can't remember which year it was, but there had been an article entitled 'Imitating Jesus and allowing divorce'. When the proofs came back to me for checking this title had been misread and printed as 'IRRITATING Jesus and allowing divorce. We had a good laugh about it in the outer office, but I remember thinking that the people in the print shop had higher expectations of orthodoxy that P&P had unfortunately been unable to satisfy.

Until 1984 the Tablet was technologically behind the times. The main computer was introduced that year I think; the office staff continued to operated electronic typewriters. Fortunately for me, it was decided to put the whole subscription lists of both journals on computer data base. As Subs. Controller it seemed obvious that I should do this. It was tedious work, which I did on Saturday mornings. It was my real introduction to the computer  and before the internet.
1987
After leaving the Tablet for a much better paid job with the Church of England Children's Society, I spent a further two years there before finally finding my way back into teaching. I then spent six happy and producuctive years in Adult Access training with the London Borough of Brent whilst serving as a member of the English department in one of their Community Schools. Here I was in charge of the Sixth Form and Access recruitment and interviewing.

1988
Four years after the Annulment I married my present husband in the same church where the annulled marriage had taken place in 1971. The only way that my life was affected by Pope John Paul II was that as that annulment process was nearing conclusion, he issued a directive that from now on all cases had to be heard consecutively by two  tribunals. So after Westminster, mine had to go to Birmingham. It did turn our to be 'rubber stamping' but all the same it added a further three months of anxiety.

In all the learning that took place for me in the 1980s, there is one form that held the whole thing together and that is the time I spent. every Wednesday evening and Sunday morning learning how to read and sing Chant and Renaissance polyphony.. These I value most of all.  You may think that my orthodoxy was maintained (or saved) by burying my head in the sand after the 'Marie Assumpta disaster' of 1979. The 1980s show that I was well informed about growing diversity of opinion, and decided through constant prayer and thought to remain the kind of Catholic I have always been. The one man who was to show me that I had been right all along, was not yet Pope, and I'll have to tell my story through the 90s and beyond before reaching the joy of his election to the Throne of Peter..


To be continued

1980-93 (A Life under six Popes Continud)

Yet again I was protected from rampant modernism by being in a traditional parish  with a history of Latin litugcical practice. Over the years in question, I knew from trips to various friends up and down the country that its style was definitely the exception rather than the rule. All the more reason to see that it was preserved. For the next 13 years Chant and Polyphony were to the most important things in my life.

In 1982 I began the Annulment proceedings.. I'd had to be chivied into it by a friend who knew more about the whole thing than I did. Like most people I thought that Annulments were only for minor royalty and/or the wealthy. A year later I began work at the Tablet as Subscriptions Controller. (More about that on another occasion)  Shortly afterwards tragedy struck one Saturday morning. Choirmaster Michael, aged 43 at the time, suffered a massive heart attack and died before the ambulance arrived to take him to hospital. I don't have any natural siblings, but Michael was my 'brother'.  I cannot describe the grief and shock I felt at his loss.
His parents were both dead. There was no immediate family. The local church would have to see to everything.
The Tablet generously gave me time off to attend the funeral. This was fortunate since it fell to me to do most of the organisation. My annulment came through in 1984.

The period 1979-83 was marked by such important and time consuming events in my personal life that I do not recall being terribly concerned about the Pope, although naturally I was deeply shocked by the attempt on his life.  This may seem hard, even very wrong, but you see, not that I formulated this at the time, he represented the Church who had 'let me down'. I see him differently now of course, but at the time I was far from being impressed by the vaunted charism that everyone said was such a rich blessing. To me it was just an exercise in crowd pleasing histrionics. God please forgive me. And readers, particularly those who only ever knew John Paul II before Benedict XVI, please forgive me too. Remember that he was the fifth Pope in my life. Regardless of the length of his pontificate I have to put him in context, even though he is now BLESSED John Paul II..

To be continued.

VIRI GALILAEI.wmv

For Ascension Eve 2012.

Clear as Mud................

I thought the CDF was supposed to communicate the results of this morning's deliberations direct to the Holy Father. There was no need for them to make a public communique. I am perhaps naive but it seems to me that they are not playing to the rules. (The reasons yet again suggest how strong the antii-Benedict faction is in the corridors of power.) Then Fr Lombardi has to throw in his two cents and something which looked as if it had a chance of fairly neat conclusion becomes  as clear as mud.  His comment on the communique was even more unnecessary and unhelpful than the communique itself.

'Smoke and mirrors.'  May the Holy Father dispel the smoke and break the mirrors. .

Hildegard von Bingen - O clarissima mater, response [De sancta Maria]

A belated celebration.

Saint Hildegarde, pray for our Pope, for Bishop Bernard Fellay, and for all of us.

1979 Back from 'the smoke' and into the long haul (A life under Six Popes continued)

The London experience described in the last post of this series defeated my Faith in the Unity of the Church. She was allowing disunifying things to happen, of the sort I had seen, without even the suspicion of disapproval. I do not know whether anyone else had been as shocked as I was at the Kensington Mass. I was so upset that I wasn't aware whether anyone else left either before or after me. Apart from anything else, I could see that the new freedom of  the Council was not doing a great deal of good. If those abuses were allowed, then so could many others, without correction. They were in fact licence. Rome did not see it.

My life was about to fall apart in every way. Shortly after my return to Devon it became apparent that my 'marriage' would not survive . My 'husband' made it clear that he had absolutely no intention of having children. I have already covered this in my earlier series of posts on Annulment.(See Archive) I will not therefore rehearse the whole sorry business here.

Suffice to say that these two matters, occurring one after the other, cast me utterly adrift. I left the marital home in September 1979.. Until the annulment case began in 1982 I acknowledged that there had been faults on my side as well, as indeed there were. I was not to understand until later, that though those faults existed on my side, they would not have been grounds for annulment. The faults on his side provided those grounds because, as became shockingly apparent to me during the gathering of evidence, he actually had lied at the wedding ceremony about his willingness to accept children 'lovingly from the Lord'..

Back in London I very nearly came off the rails. But Michael the Choir Master saved me again. He invited me back to the choir that I'd left in 1971. It was in trouble and about to die.

By now of course we are into the reign of John Paul II. I saw his enthronement whilst I was still in Devon.
His pontificate is what I mean by 'the long haul'.

To be continued.

Apologies in Order: To Cardinal Murphy O'Connor

Thanks to Fr Ray Blake I now understand that I must NEVER believe what I read in the Tablet. The previous post here has been adjusted accordingly.

Brief comment on this morning's General Audience and the Holy Father's thanking us for our prayers.in previous difficult times.

His thanks were indeed heartfelt and very moving, but I sense they enshrined a warning that another difficult time will shortly be upon him, and therefore on us. I do not think an announcement about the SPPX is far in the distance. It may come before the next Audience. He has warned us and we must be ready to pray for him and defend him with every means at our disposal.

Anyway they'll all show their true colours or keep quiet when the announcement comes. I'll be keeping quiet and lovingly obedient to 'Peter's' request, will continue to pray intensely and incessantly for him

God bless our Pope.

The Mass that opened my eyes and blinded them with tears: 1979. (Life under 6 Popes continued)

By 1979 I had become accustomed to the new Mass in English. That is not to say that I liked it or was comfortable with it. But I was obedient. I remember wondering why  'they' had to waste all that money on a new translation when they could have just used the translation of the Latin Mass as it appeared in every Missal.
The answer is of course that 'they' wanted not only to change the Language, but as far as possible its very meaning by other subtle omissions and adjustments..

In the Spring of that year I was following a correspondence course with Our Lady's Catechists (do they still exist?) Before I sent in any of my work I submitted it to Fr Foley in Bovey Tracey. He found no fault with my answers. More importantly he found no fault with the questions or with the course itself. In the summer I decided to go on a week's catechetical course I had seen advertised in one of the Catholic papers, thinking that it would reflect the OLC syllabus that I was already following and that it would give me the support of like minded fellow students.

So off I went at the end of the secular school year to Marie Assumpta Centre in Kensington.
I did not know that the place was not at all the same as it had been when I myself had been trained as a teacher in Winchester.. One still relied on stability in those days. As I walked down from High St. Ken.  to the first 'meet and greet' session, I had absolutely no idea that this kind of certainty was about to be plucked from my heart and soul.. .

In this first session I encountered a group of young women surrounding a personable youngish man, I'd guess he was late thirties. It turned out he was an American priest and that he would be conducting the course. He insisted on being called Father Jim..

After a while, we moved to the place where the opening Mass would be celebrated. There was I believe a perfectly respectable chapel which would have been large enough for the gathered assembly, but the organisiers had chosen to have the Mass in what I assumed was the original College assembly hall, but not from the stage  but 'in the round' on the floor of the auditorium.

The Mass began (Fr Jim celebrating)

We reached the Gospel safely enough. But then as the priest read it, a pair of religious sisters took the floor in front of him and presented a dance drama to illustrate the building of a house upon the sand..That was bad enough but then came the 'homily'.

It consisted of Fr Jim's telling us about the conversion of the Belgian Cardinal Mercier. Apparently as a fairly disreputable youth Mercier was passing a church with a 'buddy', who challenged him to go into the chuch, kneel before the altar and say, 'You are Christ, and I don't give a damn.' Mercier took up the challenge but when he came to the point in front of the tabernacle, he just could not utter the words he had promised in the 'dare'. He was converted.

.Now, you may say what you like about the unsuitability of this tale for a homily  on the particular Gospel text, or about the language used by Fr Jim. Worse was to come. Just before the Communion of the faithful when he should have held up the host and said the prescribed words in the missal, this priest held up Our Lord and said to Him, 'You are Christ and WE do give a damn.'

The shock was so great that I stopped thinking. It was as if I'd been knocked into semi-conscioussness.
Communion was then distributed but not by the priest. He handed the full ciborium to the first person to his left and to the second, the chalice containing the Precious.Blood, gesturing that both should be passed from hand to hand round the entire circle.  I was on the far side, facing the priest. I could not possibly get out without drawing attention to myself by breaking the circle and walking round it and behind the priest to the exit. Truly I have no memory of what happened next but I must have got out of it. I remember walking back to High St. Ken. tube station and that was all until I reached Sloane Square and found myself in The Fox and Hounds pub (our local). Shortly afterward Michael  came in, that is the Choir Master mentioned in previous post and with whom I was staying.  It was early and the pub wasn't busy. Had it been heaving with people I don't thin it would have made any difference. When I saw him I burst into incontrollable sobs of delayed shock...It was some time before I could explain at all coherently what had happened and why I was in such a state. (I had never behaved in such a way in public before, either in in his presence or out of it.

At the end of the week I went back to Devon a changed woman.

To be continued

........

Two more plugs for the Gardening booklet

At top of right hand sidebar, Mac has placed a pic of the cover and organised things so that by clicking it you can get directly to order it at CTS site. (Thanks a lot Mac!) And in left hand sidebar at CTS Catholic Compass they have published a short piece they asked me to write about the booklet.

A Life under 6 Popes: Protected from knowledge of what was going on 1968-79

In 1966  I met the choirmaster of the local Catholic church, that was the parish next to my own in Chelsea.. He persuaded me to join the group. It was a world on its own although I didn't realise how atypical it was at the time. The main Sunday Mass was celebrated according to the new Rite in Latin (even before this was officially introduced).. This meant that all or most of the traditional repertoire could be retained. The church had an unbroken tradition of Gregorian Chant and Polyphony going back to the year dot. The choir managed to survive because there were enough dedicated  and experienced singers. I left in 1971 when I married for the first time. (I was sorry to leave. Little did I know that I would return in 1980 and spend 13 years helping to save the chor and cement its future.)  

During the intervening period two things happened which should have alerted me to the state of the Church at large. The first was the obvious storm created by the promulgation of Pope Paul VI's Encyclical 'Humanae Vitae'. In spite of this I didn't realise that the dissenters would go underground and actually  be encouraged by some priests (possibly for the sake of a quiet life, rather than conviction,) having decided they were free to conduct their lives as they pleased regardless of what the Pope had said. The second thing, which affected me personally took place during the preparation for marriage  at he church described above. We had one meeting with the priest, a curate, not the PP.  Having elicited the promise that any children of our union would be brought up as catholics, and having established that the paperwork was in order, he indicated that the meeting was concluded. I panicked because I did not think that everything had been covered.  Divorce for instance. Shouldn't the rules about that be explained.  The priest replied, 'What do you want to discuss that for. You are not even married yet.' Well I had tried. but I felt that my intended spouse was less than properly prepared. As it turned out, and unknown to me, he had no intention of having children, leave alone bringing them up as catholics. But that's another story. ( See posts about the eventual annulment. Consult blog archive.)  I don't know how many other couples were so poorly prepared by this priest but it's nightmarish to think about it now.

After the wedding, off I went to the depths of remotest Devon, Here again I was spoiled. The nearest priest was at Bovey Tracey, where he had refused to reorder his church for Mass facing the people, claiming rightly that there wasn't the space. I remember many conversations with him but one sticks in my mind particularly. I had said to him how distressing I found the growing habit of communion in the hand. He said 'Don't worry. You will live to see that abuse reversed. Probably I will not.' He was nearly 80 then and ended his days with the Dominicans at St Mary Church Torquay, where thank God he was allowed to offer his daily TLM.

Thus I came through the worst post-conciliar years without really knowing what was going on.
Came the 'year of three Popes' and we had a guest while the funeral of Pope Paul VI unfolded and then the election and coronation of Pope John Paul I... The guest was the choir master mentioned at the opening of this post. It was a turning point in many ways. Not the least because they were the first Papal ceremonies I had ever seen on TV.

The following year I was finally to grow up, and flee in tears from of a most abusive Mass at the Marie Assumpta Centre in Kensington, London. I had gone there for a Catechetics course. When I describe this Mass next time, I think you'll understand the tears, and above all the reason why I could not get out of there fast enough.

It did not occur to me at any point to blame any of the Popes for the blasphemy I was forced to witness,. and it  still does not.

Emergency: One of my neighbour's cats is giving birth to her kittens outside my Study door.

Normal posting will resume as soon as posssible!

A 'holy old boy' and 'a hornet's nest' (A life under 6 Popes continued)

'This holy old boy doesn't realise what a hornet's nest he is stirring up.'

If Pope Paul indeed made this remark to a friend when his predecessor called the Second Vatican Council, he obviously thought he knew far more about the current factions in the Church than did 'good Pope John'.  By the time he found himself presiding over the continuing Council the nest of hornets was abuzz. But that is to run ahead..............

***********************************

For four years my father's opposition prevented my being received into the Church.. Originally he had sworn to make me wait until the age of majority at 21. To this day I do not know why he gave in when I was 19. I was finally received  in July 1962. Three months later the Vatican Council began. I was half way through Teacher Training at an Anglican college. That was because in 1960 no Catholic College could accept me, and in any case my father would definitely not have allowed it. Ironically, for the rest of my student days I was protected as a Catholic by my former Anglicanism. At a Catholic Institution I would have been exposed to 'the changes' and their 'justification'. I did not have to cope with that challenge. At parish level there was little change to start with, either at home or at the church nearest to college in Winchester... I am grateful that these early years enabled me to settle in, without distraction, to the Faith I had embraced.

The first changes were not liturgical as I remember them.. In 1963 I attended the Easter Vigil at my home parish with the gift that Sister Agnes had given me for my Reception - The Saint Andrew Daily Missal.. The vigil was followed according to that Missal of 1962. It rained when we were outside around the brazier. The relevant pages are permanently crinkled with the effects of that Easter rain..

In the autumn of 1964 I took up my first teaching post in a Catholic primary school run by the Daughters of Charity. During the first term came the day when the world was to see the white 'cornette' for the last time. Staff were warned that the next day the Sisters would appear in their new garb. I can't remember whether the children were similarly warned. I do remember we were asked for our charity and discretion..

As it happened all went off without incident. Nobody, child, sister or lay staff member threw a wobbly and the matter was not discussed in the staff room.  It was done. The erstwhile and elegant distinctive habit  of St Vincent's daughters had passed into history. I knew why the new habit was thought sensible. I could not argue with any of the reasons for getting rid of the cornette. But all the same  I still mourn its loss, particularly when I see many DCs do not now wear a habit at all.

By 1966 Pope John was dead and buried; Pope Paul was in charge; the Council concluded . .
Then came the 1970s.........................

To be continued.

My CTS booklet: a few more particulars as promised

Table of Contents

Scriptural background: from Genesis to Revelation
Gardening in the history of European Christendom
Medieval Monastic Gardens
Modern Prayer Gardens
Basic Garden tasks and Prayer
Intercessions
The Divine Office
My Garden and the Liturgy
How to choose plants
Note on Houseplants
An Epilogue of Roses

My new CTS booklet now available for pre-order at their Catholic Compass site.

A happy and holy month of the Blessed Virgin Mary to all of you.

Link to CTS blog 'Catholic Compass' further down the left hand sidebar here. The booklet is entitled 'Gardening for God' and is included in their latest booklet list.  Follow the 'view here' link at the top of their current post. More details later.

Series on the six Popes of my lifetime will continue on Thursday..

Happy Feast Day of St Joseph the Worker to our dear Holy Father

Lefebvrians: One step closer to Rome ...and to a division?

Lefebvrians: One step closer to Rome ...and to a division?

'Rome Reports' is very useful, but I am infuriated with this presentation, particularly from the French journalist de Mounier of 'La Croix'.. Same old stuff and I'm afraid an unforgiveable misrepresentation of the truth. Apart from anything else, you would think from what he says, that the SSPX only exists in France, that it is some kind of minute monarchist movement.. But then La Croix is run by the French bishops Conference, but am I wrong? As Claude Rains famously said, 'Round up the usual suspects.'.

A Life through 6 Papacies 2: Pope John XXIII: Updated with comment

I chose this video clip because the Byrds hit song perfectly evokes for me the atmosphere of the 1960s. It was all about peace and justice, CND and 'If I had a hammer'.. I don't like the text that accompanies the clip because it seems to hijack Pope John for its own agenda and to characterise him in a narrow way.. To say that the Council he initiated has 'guided', the Church to the present day, is to me a misuse of that verb, unless you take guidance  as leading to confusion and conflict, which the Church herself is still struggling to heal.

Of course the trouble with a series like this is that one has to separate what one felt and believed at the time, from what one KNOWS now. In all conscience one has to admit that pre-conciliar Catholics were not well informed. They had no reason not to trust the Church. Most of us had to rely on the 'Universe'; the 'Catholic Herald' was not widely read and in the 60s the 'Tablet' was generally regarded as the priest's preserve. The result was that in England at any rate Catholics to whom 'obedience' was second nature, could do nothing but go along with the changes. All I can say is that there must have been many modernists lurking in sacrisities and side-chapels who merely kept quiet until they saw their opportunity. They must have been very clever because I can honestly say that in the pre-council days I saw no hint in my parish that priests or people were longing for the changes that came inexorably and quite brutally as the decade neared its close.

To me it seemed that the minute I was received, the Church began to dismantle herself. She seemed to have taken leave of her sense of psychology which I had always admired in her.. It certainly didn't feel like 'remewal' to me. It just felt as if things were going badly wrong. And Blessed John XXIII notwithstanding., I'm afraid that they did.

At least now, thanks to the internet, and as long as it serves us, no pressure group within the Church will be able to 'pull the wool'  unchallenged ever again.

Apparently Blessed John XXIII is quoted as saying that he didn't want collaborators; he wanted executors. Well, he was granted his wish in probably the most agonised Pope of the six under discussion here, namely Papa Montini...

Spiritual Mothers of Priests CR News 13 : Vocations Day'

ZENIT - This Sunday Is 'Pray for Vocations Day'
Item includes The Holy Father's message to mark the occasion. Tomorrow morning he will ordain new priests for the Diocese of Rome. Watch on EWTN or KTO.

A life in the context of 6 papacies: I: The last years of Pius XII (Eugenio Pacelli 1951-58)

1958 and I am 15, already converted to the Faith but not yet received because of paternal opposition. I know Pope Pius only from the huge portrait that hangs in the main parlour of the Howard Hill house of the Daughters of Charity in Sheffield, where I received Instruction. It is good to be able to see this footage now. At the time of course, it was not available.

Spiritual Mothers of Priests: CR News 12

Congregation for Clergy addresses priests before World Prayer day.

Benedict XVI. Inauguration (Intronizzazione) 24.04.2005 + full version

Habemus papam. Treasured moments.

As Dr Robert Moynihan  (ITV magazine) recently prayed, 'Please God another seven years!'

In Christo pro Papa.

Silverstream Priory Alert

Please don't miss Father Mark's latest posts and photos. Link to 'Vultus Christi' in sidebar here.

More Media tosh re the LCWR

The MSM. in the States at least, is determined to characterise our Pope as Benedict the bully, who has unleashed his pack of baying CDF hounds onto those poor little American 'nunnybuns' who make up the LCWR.  It's absolute rubbish of course and I cannot recommend highly enough Diane's closer look at the CDF's Doctrinal Assessment and their hopes that the group will renew itself. Please go there! And then after imbibing some great common sense and accurate reporting, have a decent night's sleep.

April 19, 2005

It was a Wednesday, if memory serves and I was at school until late. The GCSE folders/ modearation pot was coming to the boil.and we were about to enter the written exam season. I had not seen the funeral of Pope John Paul II, having been travelling back from Easter holidays in France on that day.  I did not find the news of the election until I staggered exhausted into the flat at well gone 7pm.. I still don't know how I found the news on the computer. At that point I wasn't an internet user and up until then had only used the word processing function on the computer in connection with my books, the third of which had just been published.. But somehow, feverish fingers notwithstanding, find it I did. I think it may have been the BBC because the commentator had an English accent, and I was immediately irritated by his sneering tone and his obvious ignorance or the procedure as it unfolded... Judging from the time, I think I must have seen a recording. and not the live event. But then Cardinal Medina took over. And it was quite obvious from his mien that whoever he was going to announce met with his full approval. He hardly smiled once, and yet the aides around him appeared not to be able to keep themselves from grinning. It was as if they were bursting with a big juicy secret.that was about to be shared with the whole world. When H.E. Cardinal Medina pronouced the word 'Josephum' and then left  a 'coach and horses' pause before continuing,, my heart missed a beat. Like many people I had been 'prepared' by the media, and I'm afraid, the Church at home, to think this was impossible. And yer here it was, happening in front of my very eyes and ears.. And then when our beloved new Pope Benedict came out and addressed the universal Church for the first time in terms of such humility, I thought ,he's going to have an uphill battle, but he IS God's choice. He looked happy even though we later knew that he did not want this to happen to him and had begged God when he felt the conclave moving in an inexorable direction, not to ask its of him. It is seven years ago. Dear Pope Benedict, thank God He did ask you and that you, our beloved Holy Father, did accept His will..

But it was not until the inaugural Mass that I saw what kind of Papacy this would be and that it would definitely not be one of biding time, or of waiting for someone more effective or any of that nonsense.

April 19 2005 was the best day in my Christian life. Deo Gratiss.

FULL IN THE PANTING HEART OF ROME !!! GOD BLESS OUR POPE !!! SCOTTISH CA...

God bless our Pope!. May he have a peaceful anniversary and continue in strength and courage as our chief shepherd. Pray for him without ceasing.

Thanks for comments so far on your memories of Pope Benedict's election

I hope for more later and will put my own up before the end of today's glorious anniversary.

What are your memories of April 19, 2005? Please share in the com box

My own memories will follow. I will send the whole package to the Holy Father

Nervous of premature celebration

It seems from Fr. Lombardi's statement this morning that Bishop Fellay has indeed signed the 'Preamble', but according to earlier 'Vatican Insider' speculations certain additions were inserted in that said response. We know neither the contents of the 'Preamble' nor the specifics of the recent additions. Now we must wait at least a couple of weeks for the CDF to chew it all over and then the matter will again go before the Pope. This battle is not over yet and I feel it is unwise to express an outburst of unconfined joy at the present juncture. Rather, let our prayers be increased and intensified, for Pope Benedict, Bishop Fellay, and for the Unity of Holy Mother Church.

Benedict XVI: the Resurrection helps us forge ahead

Today in the Pauline Chapel.

WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART - TE DEUM LAUDAMUS

For our beloved Holy Father on his 85th birthday. Ad multos annos!

An uncomfortable papal birthday ahead

That is if the SSPX keeps to the expected deadline on Sunday and if the pundits are right that this is the last call.

I simply do not see the Society being willing to regularise via a Prelature. 'Liberal' bishops would have so much influence over its future as to make thatt a suicidal option for the Society. And what would be the point of allowing them back simply to kill them, unless of course you are a liberal bishop! OTOH an Ordinariate would assure them of much greater and directly papal protection. We have seen how essential this has been with the UK Ordiariate. I will continue to pray that an Ordinariate is being pursued as a solution. As so many commenters have pointed out, it is ludicrous that the Society is having to go through this trial and remain officially outside the Church whilst brazenly self declared dissenters who have no regard for the magisterium, or the person and/or authority of the Holy Father remain in 'good standing. Whatever happens, it won't be easy and  I'm afraid that the trouble will be fomented by the so called 'liberal' wing if the Society comes back into the Church. Orthodox catholics of most stripes will welcome them back as allies, believing that the Church desperately needs their help. I believe it has been Pope Benedict's dream all along to bring them back. As Cardinal Ratzinger, he is reported to have wept when Archbishop Lefebvre did his last minute volte face one Roman morning all those years ago. If at this late hour he still can't heal this rift and he can't get these dissenters into line, his papacy, as I suggested last night, will be regarded as a waste of time. However it the Church continues down its present road......well it doesn't bear thinking about.

No time for more today.

With my prayers that our Holy Father may have the best of possible birthdays in these difficult circumstances.

'The Church will not be renewed by dissent': Pope Benedict Maundy Thursday 2012

But she continues to be damaged by it. Longer post tomorrow covering the recent actions and statements of Cardinals Wuerl and Schonborn, plus the unhelpful article , to say the least ,in the Japan Times by the editor of 'The Universe', positing that the Pope has lost his way in his guidance of the Church..  He has not lost HIS way. The faithful are in grave danger of losing theirs unless they wake up and follow their Shepherd.

Added to all that we have the prospect in the next couple of days of movement concerning the SPPX.

I think we have reached a turning point and that history will record that the papacy of Benedict XVI, although it may appear to be a failure in its time, in future years will be seen in quite another light..

Now is Christ arisen!

"Had Christ that once was slain
Ne'er burst His three day prison
Our faith had been in vain."

But now is Christ arisen! He is risen indeed!

A happy and holy Eastertide everybody. Deo gratias!

Tomas Luis de Victoria - Tenebrae Responsories

Snatch of conversation from a near perfect marriage

Tonight in St Romain:
 Me to my husband: ' Why do I still love you? I must be mad!'

Response from husband: ' Stay with me. I married you because I was sick of sane people.'

(It sounded to me as if he intended 'sane' to be in inverted commas. It made me very happy.  I can  do with any amount of this madness.)

Adapting to changes at Blogger

Yesterday was a bit of a shock and I realised it would take me some time to get used to the new format of the old blogger dashboard. I suppose that by the end of Holy Week I'll feel a bit more confident with it.

In the morning I went to Mass in Chalais. The church was packed and there were many men in the congregation. Why then, was the Passion according to St Mark read entirely by women, apart from the words of Our Lord which were read by the priest? At the very least I was affronted by the unnecessary lack of equity and balance in this. I am considering an email to the priest asking him why and how this exclusion of male readers was allowed to happen.

Time I retired! Perhaps more tomorrow. perhaps not.

It's been a Mexican/Cuban switchback

But these were the most comforting and blessed words I have read today: "Pope Benedict returned SAFELY to Rome on Thursday morning...."  (See Vatican Radio)

Deo gratias.

Ecce Virgo concipiet (Byrd) Stile Antico

From Second Vespers of the Annunciation. Sorry no time for Lopez. Things are hotting up in the 'proofs' department. I must say the Holy Father looks good in a sombrero.

Father Mark names his new monastery: Silverstream Priory

At first sight that might seem poetically beautiful and indeed it is. It is a great deal more than that though. Father explains at
http://vultus.stblogs.org/2012/03/silverstream-priory.html

Westminster Cathedral Choir - Magnificat Quarti Toni(Capillas)

A Lopez Magnificat taster.

The Aspersion and Mass of the Holy Innocents, as they might have been conducted in Mexico City Cathedral 28.12.1656

Radio 3 broadcast a reconstruction of this liturgy as part of a ten part series over the Christmas Octave in 1984.
I have it on tape somewhere and am looking for it. Also in my library is the 72 page background booklet that the BBC published at the time. As I remember, apart from Plainchant the music used was by Lopez (1612-c.1674)
I will revisit this whole topic during the Holy Father's imminent visit to Mexico and post the results. I am afraid that he is highly unlikely to hear music of this ilk, the best efforts of Mons. Guido Marini notwithstanding. Of course one would be overjoyed to be proved wrong. In the meantime I see that there is an article in the booklet entitled 'A Constant Liturgy as a Force against Dissolution and Decay'.

Hymn to St. Joseph, for every day but especially for tomorrow

Happy Feast Day Holy Father. With the love and prayers of your faithful people as you prepare for the visit to Mexico and Cuba.

Discantus - Laetare Jerusalem

Time for bed. Happy Laetare Sunday!

The Wolfe Tones- Hail Glorious St. Patrick

Posted last year but could not resist it again!

Fr Mark's new monastery at Stamullen, Co. Meath Ireland

Important note before I post the promised music for Laetare Sunday. There is a letter at Vultus Christi today  from David Craig which explains the monastery's special needs and, perhaps more germane to the issue, David's personal experience of Fr Mark's spirituality and the special charism of the new Stamullen Priory.The link given above leads to a post by Fr Mark, which in its turn contains a link to David's letter.

Happy Saint Patrick's day everyone, but particularly to my dear Fr Mark

Next post: Some 'Laetare' music on Sunday.

Meanwhile, snowed under with housework neglected whilst I was writing, and several other unexpected domestic pressures. Publisher has asked for blurb details and other PR assistance which I've promised them on Monday next. Fell over a draught excluder last week and cracked a rib. A 'relais' Mass here at St Romain tomorrow evening, at which I'll pray for you all, and a 'Penitential Service' (which includes individual Confessions) at Maumont Abbey on Saturday afternoon.
Have been told that Mons. Marini was on a prelim. visit to Mexico over the weekend which explained his absence from Saturday's Papal Vespers at SanGregorio.. (h/t to my commenter Mary) Fr Mark and Br. Benedict are still staying with Fr Hogan but will 'shortly' move into Stamullen Priory which from Father's account needs a lot of work doing to it. I know you will continue to pray for them..

God bless all here

In Christo pro Papa
J

I still have not calmed down

This afternoon I decided to view again P.M. Cameron's farewell speech to the Pope of more than a year ago. At the time I wanted to believe that he really meant what he was saying. One couldn't tell from his facial expression what the Holy Father really felt, but seeing the footage again, I suppose that 'guarded' best describes his reaction. He knew he was listening to a politician. Now, all those months down the line, having told the Pope that he had challenged the whole country to sit up and think, one is at an utter loss as to what thinking means to our Prime Minister. Just a cheap word considered as impressively persuasive at the time? Within a year this same fellow has hailed the UK as a Christian country, and 'one that cherishes faith' and then weeks after that spoke destructively against it in the name of his so-called government. And now seems to be pursuing legislation that will prevent Christians from wearing a cross or crucifix in the workplace. Fiche-moi as the French say. I am not a political creature, but even if I were, I'd know that both Blair and Cameron have always been more interested in 'being Prime Minister',  like adolescents vying to be head boy or house captain.
We have elected an immature 'sixth form' to 'govern'  us for far too long and to our obvious detriment.

I really will try to calm down by tomorrow!


.

2012: Meanwhile back in 'Blighty' the Dragon's teeth spring up

Perhaps it is just media selectivity but so far reaction to the pastoral letter written by Archbishops Nichols and Smith does not make for happy reading - priests openly stating their disagreement with the letter having read it to their congregations, or having refused to read it at all; a shameful intervention at Mass in Teignmouth; and probably the worst and most damaging declaration of dissent from the supposed neophyte Blair who has shown himself not to have a catholic corpuscle in his bloodstream. How did he get in so easily? I sympathise with the Archbishops' dilemma, but I do think that in fairness to all of us, and to themselves, they should consider whether  the present situation is not the result of hierarchical abuse of collegiality over at least four decades. As I said a long time ago, collegiality is a great principle, but only if bishops are in collegiality with the Pope, and not against him. Otherwise it kills the authority of the Pope and makes his task more difficult if not impossible.

Yammering on about catholic identity doesn't make much sense when you have presided over its loss for so long.

More in next post when I've calmed down a bit. My prayers for the 'cautioning' Bishop Conry. God bless Cardinal O'Brien.
(h/t to Fr Blake)

July 25th 1968

On this day Pope Paul VI finally issued the encyclical 'Humane Vitae' I was 25 and not married , but knew from conversations with female friends at church that the general hope was that he would condone 'artificial' birth control. I was looked at very strangely when I said that I would oppose it even were I not Catholic. To me its chemical interference with the female reproductive system was morally wrong and potentially medically dangerous. I was not leading a particularly holy life at the time, but that was my instinctive reaction. Of course the subsequent spate of thrombosis among women who were taking the 'pill' was to prove the validity of the latter objection. It was rushed onto the market with insufficient testing. That is well known now.

I also knew that before the encyclical, my friends were being advised in the confessional that the practice would be approved.. No worries. Shock horror when we were finally told that it was definitely not.all right. At that point a division crept into and hardened within  the Church - women either kept quiet relying on what their priests had told them, or they changed their ways and obeyed the Pope's  reasoning..I think we know what happened then.

And I think we also know why the US bishops have an extremely difficult task on their hands. As Pope Benedict told them the other day: 'Certainly we must acknowledge the deficiencies in the catechesis of recent decades.' But his audience knew the dissidence of many of their flock, and so does POTUS (as Fr Z calls him), and for that reason his probably deliberate strategy could be lethal. Easy to rule the divided, no? One does not know how many of the bishops who listened to Pope Benedict this week are of the 60s, or of  later generations,  but if they are honest they must have all felt very uncomfortable, if not frightened.. Or worse, maybe there may have been one or two who thought he was talking hogwash. For all of which possible reasons I prayed for them last night.. And every night.

Who Killed Cock Robin?

Promise, this is my last 'memory' song for now. There's a theory that it' s about Robert Walpole. Don't know, but it bears thinking about in any case. Sure as birds' eggs it isn't just a nursery rhyme.. Back tomorrow evening DV and facing the battle that has been joined whilst I was otherwise occupied. God bless and strengthen our biships of the US, UK and Ireland...

'If I should plant a tiny seed of love'

I've finished my text and will send it off  to the publishers tomorrow after final check. This is for all my blogging friends who have been so supportive during the last month. I learned it at my father's knee; later it was the signature tune of a of a music hall act I did in the 80s. I think of it differently now. It could be Pope Benedict's song,  Unfortunately, a large part of the world refuses to listen to him. Nary mind , he plods on deteriminedly and we follow him, our beloved shepherd.

God bless all here,
In Christo pro Papa
J

GRACIE FIELDS - 'The Biggest Aspidistra In The World' - 1938 78rpm

Sorry about the wartime 'gloss' at the end ,but that's the way it was in those days.

After all this deep thinking about gardens and plants, time to take myself down a peg or two

And back to my 'roots'/

KENNETH MCKELLAR SINGS -SILENT WORSHIP - HANDEL.wmv

Writing update: Finishing tape in sight

Back to normal, whaterver that is, by the end of the coming week. In the meantime something beautiful in the next post. I know Handel wrote it as a human love song, but it always  makes me think of Our Lady..

Update on Fr Mark's arrival in Ireland

Thanks to Fr John Hogan. Go to today's post 'In Brief' at his blog for the news
Father and Brother Benedict have arrived safely, Deo Gratias, and Hilda is expected tomorrow..

Fr Mark Kirby O.S.B. makes a courageous move today. Your prayers please!

After a long period of prayer, discennment, negotiation and subsequent practical organisation, our dear Hon, Spiritual director of the Oasis, flies out of Tulsa today, en route for County Meath, Ireland where he hopes to make a permanent home for the Monastery of Our Lady of the Cenacle at the invitation of the local ordinary Bishop Smith, and to whom he is being 'lent' by his own good Bishop Edward Slattery of Tulsa Oklahoma. Father's novice, Brother Benedict, and Hilda the monastery dog are going with him.. I know they can rely on the prayers of all who have followed 'Vultus Christi' blog over the years, and also of the swelling group of Oblates in the US. Fr Mark will be much missed there, but I imagine that he intends to conduct the ministry of Oblate Master via the blog and the private Priory Facebook page.  Please pray for Irish and other European vocations to the monastic community as well as to the Oblateship. (As most of you know, Father runs a solidly traditional monastery with daily Mass and Office according to the pre-Vatican II liturgical books. He also speaks Italian and French.).

As for me, I'll be on edge until I know of his safe arrival and installation!

May God protect and strengthen you my dear father in Christ.    

Fr George writes to Fr Gordon: Spiritual Mothers CR News 10

Go to today's post at Holy Souls Hermitage. Link in left sidebar here.

'Doing things' for Lent

I didn't choose them. They were sent. I accept them and offer them up. At the moment it is the least and the most that I can do.

Sub-zero temperatures from the beginning of the month until a couple of days ago; the need to keep warm whilst I sit still writing at my desk; the increased heating costs that we can ill afford; when the thaw came, burst pipes  in the kitchen and outside wash house; washing machine now completely out of action and not used during the freeze in any case for obvious reasons; plumber came midweek and mended four pipes with resultant bill that we've just about managed to pay; further severe  frosts on the next two days - still no washing done; thought it safe to try today but the machine flooded the outhouse floor and a further leak appears to have sprung from another joint in the plumbing. Monsieur le Plombier, will have to return and will then need to be paid for his ministrations, despite the fact that he is very kind and does  not overcharge.

Both Colin and I are pushing 70 now, and as some of you know, neither of us is any longer in the pink of health.. Nevertheless, as my father always used to say, 'There is always someone worse off than yourself'. Indeed how true that always was, and particularly so now, with Christians being martyred and persecuted all over the world. And since the winter set in I've been daily concerned about how Fr George is managing at Holy Souls Hermitage.  Not to mention the Holy Father's crushing burden. In all conscience, plenty to pray about, and to be glad to have a little something to 'offer up'.

Spiritual Mothers CR News 9: Lenten Activity at North American College, Rome

ZENIT - Station Churches of Rome and Their Lenten Significance

Ash Wednesday 2012: Monsignor Guido gets a ride in the Pope's new buggie!

This video is several years old, dating from the time when our Holy Father was physically stronger and could walk in the Ash Wednesday procession from St Anselm's to St Sabina's. Sad to relate, today saw the introduction of a new papal vehicle, somewhat reminiscent of those devices you see being propelled about the streets by aged or disabled people . It was driven by a Vatican aide and afforded sufficient room on the back to accommodate His Holiness and his two Masters of Ceremony.  Its hand bars painted white, it is a fraction of the size of the Popemobile and  so discreet that no one appears to have noticed its debut, possibly because the MSN isn't particularly interested in Christian penitential liturgy and wasn't paying attention. .Tomorrow they may catch up, and we shall have more irritating stuff about our 85 year old Pope 'slowing down'. If I read that phrase once more I shall scream! Tonight however, Pope Benedict appears to have stolen a few hours march, albeit riding and not walking!.
I'm told that Mons. Guido Marini is not a good traveller, and I must admit he looked nervous and as if  he would have preferred to pad alongside his master on terra firma,  as heretofore. ..Nevertheless whatever is necessary, he will do. I shouldn't be surprised if it wasn't his idea anyway. The whole spectacle reminded me of a Hardyesque overloaded hay-cart. But the  liturgy, and the Holy Father's homily,  were beautiful and salutary beginnings to Lent..

Benedict XVI will celebrate Ash Wednesday in the Basilica of Santa Sabina

Writing update and other more seasonal difficulties

At the thaw about ten days ago, we had a burst pipe and that put the washing machine out of action, horror of horrors! How do two people make so much washing in such a short space of time?! The leak has meant we've had to turn the water off at the mains each day, except for short periods  to allow for essential activities. Our trusty plumber came this evening and mended four separate leaks that he discovered in the washing machine pipes. Fortunately he's an electrician too,  and saw to it before leaving that everything was restored on that front as well. The whole job took him about 2 hours, much of it in the dark, with the aid of inspection lamp. During that time I managed to make the batter for Shrove Tuesday Pancakes, which we  consumed about half an hour ago.

With the help of my saints and those of you who spare prayers for me, I've kept writing over these last days, and am now only about 1,300 words short of the target for March 9. Will report again then. In the meantime tomorrow is washing morning (thank God) whilst I listen to the Papal Audience. Then the usual detested shopping trip followed by the Holy Father's Ash Wednesday Mass from Santa Sabina.

With my prayers that all of you may have a holy and fruitful Lent.

In Christo pro Papa
J
 

Is there now even more hope for Fr Gordon MacRea?

See http://holysoulshermitage.com

Thanks to Fr George Byers for his indefatigable work  in rooting out the latest information about this case.
God bless you Father, and of course Fr Gordon, for whom I've been praying since I first found his blog. See 'These Stone Walls'', link at top of RIGHT HAND sidebar here.

ZENIT - New York Archbishop Gives Cardinals a 7-Point Evangelization Plan

ZENIT - New York Archbishop Gives Cardinals a 7-Point Evangelization Plan

Thank you Your Eminence! Congratulations, felicitations, jubilations, and of course most importamtly, PRAYERS.
Ad multos Annos!

'Oh my prophetic soul!', sorry prophetic Pope!

h/t to The Anchoress, oka Elizabeth Scalia, at her blog Patheos. Tonight she has recommended a book written in 1971 by then Archbishop Ratzinger, entitled 'Faith and the Future' and recently republished by Ignatius Press. (And Mac, it's also available on Kindle) Its 160 pages,  seem from the Patheos  selected quotes, to be pure, and as time has proved, accurate Ratzingerian prophecy. Order in hardcopy from  amazon.com

Some time ago I tried to pinpoint the occasion on which Pope Benedict had first mentioned the probability of a smaller, poorer and leaner Church. It was quite a shock to discover that he had written about this even before the election of John Paul II. I plan to acquire a used copy to add to my Lenten reading list..

"Macushla", John McCormack

Another one for the bedtime hour  Memories of my Grandmothers, and many of yours I hope.
( Up to over 10,000 words today.)

Hope for Fr Gordon Macrae?

Link at Holy Souls Hermitage in my sidebar here.' I hope they make him a bishop after he gets out.'

"Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Wolf?" (Henry Hall, 1933)

Sheep or pig, cheer up, and God bless you!

The Big Bad Wolf?.

Who is it? Is it Cardinal Bertone or Cardinal Sodano, or someone quite other? Whatever the case, our Holy Father Benedict XVI is still our supreme earthly Shepherd and he has not fled yet. Cling to him, and above all pray for him.

May God protect and defend him, and all of us, his sheep.

J

little man you've had a busy day - Henry Hall

Goodnight, God bless and sleep well everyone!

Mac's Meme

If you're tagged for a Meme ( as I have been by Mac, here are the rules:
1. You post these rules on your blog.
2. You link back to the person who tagged you, in my case Mulier Fortis, and me for anyone tagged on this post
3. You tag five people and tell them they've been tagged on their own blog
4. The subject of this meme is Mac's wants to have your choice of three essential books to have on her new Kindle. So you post the names of three books. (She has said that they have to be reading books, no reference books or prayer books)

Here are my five 'tagees'
Fr Bede Rowe at a Chaplain Abroad
Fr John Hogan at St Genesius blog
Dylan Parry at 'A Reluctant Sinne
Fr Michael Gollup at 'Let Nothing You Dismay
and Sandy at 'A Catholic Comes Home' Sorry I can't give a direct link because her URL won't work on my system for some reason, ie. http://acatholiccomeshom49.blogspot.com

My three recommended books are (sorry have no time to check whether they are available on Kidle but I recommend them anyway

1. 'One Lord, One Faith' by Mgr Vernon Johnson , originally published in the 1930s I think. (too dark and cold upstairs in the library to go searching for my copy!) Still in print as a classic of Apologetics and of a Conversion story. Ignatius Press has it I think. Essential reading for anyone still teeteering on the brink of swimming the Tiber, and salutary reading for Catholics who have forgotten why the authority of Peter is essential and insurmountable, in this volume scripturally argued and proved. Essential reading too, for all those who have come into the Church over recent decades with faulty of insufficient catechesis.

2. 'In this House of Brede'. This novel is Rumer Godden's masterpiece in my opinion. A critique tomorrow if I have time. First published in 1969, it's about an English monastery of Benedictine nuns circa 50s-70s and based on Stanbrook Abbey.  I still read it once a year!

3.'Liturgical Reflections of a Papal Master of Ceremonies' by Msgr Guido Marini (published in English by Newman House Press) . Indispensable round-up of where we are now liturgically, and how far we have come during the present pontificate, Deo gratias..

Hope I've done everything properly Mac! Sorry about any typos. Tired and can hardly see the screen. Am now up to just over 8,000 words of my contracted assignment. - 6,000 to go!

God bless all here,
J

Update on Writing Project and what I've found most helpful on the Blogosphere during the last week: Vultus Christi and the Muniment Room

Since the beginning of the current month I've written over 6,000 words. The target is 14,000 words to be completed by the deadline date of March 9th, so as long as I write at least 600 a day I should make it with no insurmountable problem. The results will be published in May and you should be able to purchase them for less than £2. (If that's not a hint, at least to UK readers, then I don't know what would be.) I'll publish further details once my text is accepted by the publisher.

During the evenings, I've been catching up on the orthodox Catholic internet and aside from absorbing all the brouhaha resulting from President Obama's recent Healthcare Mandate have found two series to be most valuable. On 'Vultus Christi', (link in sidebar) Father Mark Kirby OSB, has been writing a series of letters to incipient Benedictine Oblates.. I cannot recommend them highly enough. More about this at a later date.
..
And then 'The Muniment Room' (a UK blog, also linked in sidebar) has been explaining the history of the Church in the UK over the last half century with particular quoted references to the National  Pastoral Congress, and to the largely hidden activities, and the now more apparent agenda, of Cardinal Hume and Archbishop Warlock. I think the author, tTony, and I must be about the same age, because during this series he has described things that I remember living through, and which I could not understand at the time. The difference is that even though I was working for the Tablet during the 1980s, I was too busy earning my daily crust bumping up the subscription figures and did not pay proper attention to the documentation to which tTony had access.

I left the Tablet in 1985 but continued to index it and its sister journal , the Clergy Review (later Priests and People) until 1993 . For many years now, whilst it still has the occasional excellent article,  I have deplored the stance of its editorial. Reading tTony's series has explained so much, and I am most grateful to him. This series too, I recommend that you read.

Now to bed so as to be ready  and fit to produce tomorrow's word allocation!
Please, of your charity, spare a Hail Mary for me.

All of you remain always in my prayers.
J..    . .

John Cooney: Enda acting like Scrooge as embassy row becomes a holy show - Analysis, Opinion - Independent.ie

John Cooney: Enda acting like Scrooge as embassy row becomes a holy show - Analysis, Opinion - Independent.ie Another one for the record. this time a help to understanding modern Ireland and what's going on there. h/t Fr. Gabriel Burke

BishopSlattery_HHS_Statement.mov

A bishop feeding his sheep.
God bless you Bishop Slattery
(h/t to Father Z).

Nunc Dimittis - Sheppard (1515 - 1559)

           A holy and peaceful feast of Candlemas everybody.

Twelve Lights of Candlemas

1.The light of the candle which you will carry before Mass if you are fortunate enough to have a procession tonight according to the 1962 Missal. (If not, please consider lighting a candle before Mass at Our Lady's altar and if you are unable to attend Mass you can always light one at home. Symbolically we each carry Christ in the candle we hold.)

2. The light of example in the submission of Mary and Joseph to the ritual of Purification, even though it was entirely inappropriate to Mary and her Child

3. The light of our realisation that Christ Himself willed that it should be so. He submitted to the Law in order to purify it. He willed to become like us  He entered the Temple in demonstration that He had come to rebuild it.

4. The light of His glorious kingship over Israel and over all the kingdoms of the earth.

5. The light of His sacred priesthood over all priests.

6 The light of the Spirit that brought Simeon into the Temple to receive the Child that day.

7 The light that spoke through Simeon of suffering, not only for Mary but for all Israel in the near and far distant future, and for all of us who would either accept or reject that light.

8 The light that enabled Simeon to recognize the Child as the glory of his people, and enabled Anna to acclaim that Child as Messiah and Redeemer.

9. The light that completed the cycle of prophecy immediately surrounding the birth of the Saviour.

10. The light of personal fulfilment and peace brought to Simeon and Anna by His presence.

11. The light of life He is to us.

12. The Light of Christ Himself.